Q&A: Will I never be able to adopt a dog?
Question by N: Will I never be able to adopt a dog?
I have been looking to adopt a dog for some time now.
For over 9 months now I have been researching breeds, typical temperaments, common medical ailments, activity levels, and other factors about various types of dogs. I’ve researched dog food and what should and shouldn’t be done, micro-chipping, even insurance companies. I’ve gone to the pet stores and onto websites to shop around and search for the items that I know I’d like and need and read reviews on the products and researched what works best for the breeds I am interested in.
I am a stay at home mother of 2 children who goes to school online and spends 98% of her time in her home actively watching and caring for others and their needs. Our home is a single family home with a fenced back yard that is at least 4 feet tall and we have no other pets or intentions to bring more pets into our home within the next 5 years. (We only want one dog.)
The only difficulties I have are: 1) My husband is in the military and 2) Our eldest child has high functioning autism.
Clearly we have very specific needs and have done the research needed to know what we are getting into. We are not just going to the shelter/rescue and looking for a “cute little lap dog”. We aren’t looking for a puppy. We want a mature (at least 3 years old) working-class dog that is intelligent enough to be able to show our special-needs child that it does not agree with his actions. (We can’t watch him 24/7 this is impossible but we also don’t want our dog to have to be confined all the time inside their own home when our son is present. We’d like them to be able to co-exist. We don’t want the dog to bite just a warning bark or walking away would be effective. He is not a violent child!)
I’m not a new to dog ownership. My parents purchased a purebred cocker spaniel when I was an infant and we doted on him (we had a traveling dog groomer come to our home weekly!) until the vet told us at 12 years of age that he was too old to travel with us on our final military relocation. We gave him (not sold!) to a woman who had 2 purebed females that she wanted to breed before fixing them. We didn’t think this was cruelty. She clearly knew the breed and loved them very much!
However, today… my family and I go to the PetSmart and a woman from a local rescue treats my family and I as if we are horrible people who are the worst pet owners in existence. She was rude and totally condescending. She acted as if we were looking at factors which were not important (like temperament) and instead wanted to focus on size (which, while we prefer a large dog we would take a smaller dog if it was the RIGHT dog for us!) and never seemed to care much about our situation. She went on to try to give me a sob story about how the dogs are heavily abused and mistreated and how being in the military we would just traumatize any dog we adopt because we might move. She even made a nasty stab at my family for giving our elderly dog away at the advice of our vet! (“We all grow old but people don’t give us away when we do.” I was half tempted to mention that most people just put elderly relatives in “homes” and don’t care for them until they die as it is often too difficult to provide intense medical care when you do not have the ability.)
Can anyone explain to me why we are so bad as an option for adopting a dog? We have certain expectations and we are willing to wait. We are okay with them coming to interview us and coming to inspect our home. None of their requests are unusual to us as we go though these things with our special needs child all the time. We are committed to taking our dog to obedience training and feeding it high quality dog food. We are committed to taking our dog wherever we go and providing it a space of their own. (Not just a crate but an entire ROOM! The whole laundry room which is a large walk-in space will be theirs and off limits to children!)
What is so wrong with us? Is this just how rescues operate? Our local shelter is full of pit bulls and due to breed restrictions on military installations we cannot have these dogs. The only dogs they had that fit our requirement were already under adoption. It seems we keep jumping through hoops only to be treated as if we are horrendous people.
If anyone has suggestions or ideas on what we can do or where we can go to better prepare ourselves for a dog or for the adoption process please do let me know! I am so ready to just buy a dog from a breeder at this point but my convictions make me want to help a dog that is truly in need!
We are currently in southern Arizona. (For anyone who has suggestions on local breeders/shelters/rescues which are run by people who might work with us.)
Yes I’m a little emotional about this. We’ve been trying to find a dog for about a month now and have had so many adoptions fall through and now we’re being turned away before we even see dogs for reasons that I don’t personally understand. This is very troubling for our child as he doesn’t understand why we can’t just go to the store and buy a dog and bring it home. We can’t just get a dog without his knowing as that would just bring more complications than it’s worth so we’re stuck.
I brought up the dog I had as a child because they always ask if you’ve ever owned a dog and then ask what happened to that dog. I don’t mind telling them the truth but I think it’s unfair to judge me or my family based on that information. I was only 13 years old when we gave our dog away so clearly I had very little to do with the decision. I’m not too big on lying, though, so when they ask I tell the truth.
Yes I typed out a lot of information and I’m sorry that bothered you, eye. I only wanted to
Best answer:
Answer by Emma
look up your local animal shelter and keep an eye on the type of dog you’re looking for. Use the following site.
http://www.petfinder.com/awo/index.cgi?action=state&state=AZ&limit=100
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i would try different shelter, breed rescues
as you said you need a specific dog, may take a while to find it
I am sorry to say many rescues get lost in the purpose they serve. I have heard this story many times. They work with dogs or cats so long they forget they are animals and are happy to adjust to different lifestyles. I also have an Autistic child and was military so i know what you are going to endure with basic rescues. Most people are over the top in only a few years of rescue and give all the rescues a bad name. I suggest going to your local ASPCA or animal control facility to adopt.
Go to the shelter, you’d be surprised by the temperament of some of the dogs. Ask your local shelter for a laid back, non aggressive dog. I would recommend a lab/lab mix. I have a big gentle bear of a dog that I adopted almost five years ago and I couldn’t ask for a better dog. And as far as giving your 12 year old cocker spaniel away, that was not cruel, it was in the best interest of the dog.
Good luck in your search for a furry friend and God Bless.
I think you are the best for adopting, actually. Only if you can provide the money for the new addition, of course.
Dogs can be very soothing to people who have conditions like autism, so it might become a valuable best friend there. Especially a dog such as a retriever or a labrador.
PetSmart isn’t the best place to “adopt”. A proper shelter will be able to help you more and match you with the perfect dog. Look around your local neighbourhood for the best shelter, I cannot help you much since I am in the UK, so that is all I can suggest.
Best of luck to you!
I wouldn’t listen to the woman at Petsmart, I would rather hear about someone doing lots of research into adopting a dog than someone who rushes out and buys one spur of the moment.
Having said that, I couple years ago I adopted a black lab who had been in a hoarding situation, 50 cats and the lab in one house with an elderly woman, I felt very bad for the cats, dog and woman involved. I ended up adopting the dog since I wanted an older dog who I knew would get along with cats and thought this would be perfect. The dog was wonderful and after a few weeks I noticed a lot of strange behaviors I had never seen in other dogs I have had, turns out the dog had been at one time an assistance dog for someone who had epilepsy. The dog was the most gentle, intelligent and “tuned in” dog I have every had. The dog was very good at reading people and signals since her job had been to alert the person with epilepsy that they were at risk of having a seizure. I don’t have epilepsy and neither did anyone I know but just the fact that the dog was so well trained and patient was amazing.
I tell you this as a suggestion, you may want to look into adopting a former assistance dog. Many times if someone dies or has to go into a full care facility they can no longer have their well trained dog. Many of these dogs are then put up for adoption.
Don’t take a shelters questioners personally. They are meant to find the right dog for the right homes. The questions can seem like they are attacking your abilities but in fact they are protecting the true victims here…the animals. Yes you have done your homework and know what you’re looking for and I have no doubts you will find it and it will be perfect. Don’t expect that search to be easy. The people you are dealing with deal with abuse, neglect, and government red tape that causes death every day so I ask you to also be a bit forgiving to their side as well.
Please consider a breed specific rescue for the type of dog you are looking for. I might suggest a golden retriever or lab rescue as these usually make excellent tolerant animals. Getting with the right trainer to help your and the dog adjust into your family will also make things a lot easier. Don’t give up….that perfect dog is out there just waiting for you to find him or her. Good luck and I hope you find him soon.
First of all, that lady from the whole petsmart thing is an idiot.
i hoped I helped 
I totally understand why you would want a dog to match those expectations. however, i do no think getting a puppy is the best thing. and also i would not get a mixed breed puppy from the pound or those adoption things they do at petco or petsmart. If you can find a reliable breeder (i know they can be expensive but it could be worth it in the end), or someone in town who has these puppies and i s knowledgable about the breed.
It sounds to me like you need a laid back golden retriever
I currently have 2 (one 10 yr old and one 5 month old) golden retrievers, the puppy is BYFAR the best puppy i have ever owned. and the older golden lets babies play on it, pull her tail and ears, and has been like that ever since i got her when she was 4.
GOOD LUCK
i can’t believe you typed all this over a rude person at petsmart … you went on ad nauseaum of all your research, if you want a dog just buy one, who serioiusly cares what ONE random stranger has to say … and i am not quite sure where you are going to find a 3 year old dog with the best temperament to work with your autistic son … people who give up dogs give them up because they have screwed them up … dogs who work with kids with autism have been specially trained or with the family since a pup so the child and dog grow up and are used to each other … you sound like a fine family for a dog but i can’t help but think you typed this all out because of a random person at petsmart made a comment, maybe you need to toughen up … and sum it up already … if you went into any rescue or shelter and went on like you have above, i would think you a bit crazy and not want to listen to you go on and on like above … so to answer your question, yes of course you can adopt a dog …. you might work on getting to the point as not many people like to listen to other people talk on and on … you might want to think over the mature rescue dog too …
Why are you telling them about the dog your parents gave away when you were a kid? Though I have some serious issues with that story, that was not your dog and it’s not relevant when you are trying to adopt a dog as an adult.
You need to understand that rescues are usually the ones who have to deal with the dogs that get dumped when people move or they decide the dog is “too old” or that it’s not getting along with their kids because they never bothered to train it or teach their children how to treat animals. Therefore it makes sense that rescues would try to do everything in their power to ensure that the dogs they place go into permanent homes and don’t end up cycling back into the shelter system. When you tell them that you 1) may be moving a lot, 2) have young children, and 3) see no problems with giving away a senior dog to someone who plans to use him for breeding, those are 3 strikes against the likelihood of your being able to give a dog a “forever home” in the eyes of the rescue. And yes, you may very well be the exception to the rule, but unfortunately that well has been poisoned already and most rescues aren’t willing to take the chance.
Of course, that is no excuse for the woman being rude to you, and I agree that the “holier-than-thou” attitude is frustrating. If you know that you are ready to commit to a dog then I would advise you go to your local county shelter rather than private rescue organizations. Typically at those places all you need to do is show proof of home ownership/landlord approval and pay a fee and you are set.
And so you know, reputable breeders are usually even more selective about where their puppies go than any rescue.
EDIT: Again – your parents owned that dog, you didn’t, so not mentioning it wouldn’t be lying. As someone who reviews adoption applications I can tell you that that question is meant to ask about dogs that YOU personally have owned, as an adult. By choosing to tell that story you are going to instantly bias anyone who reads the application against you.
I can tell you are very emotional about this. I don’t see why you shouldn’t get a dog. In fact a boxer (sweetest dogs on the planet) or a golden retriever will probably (assuming you or your husband are willing to exercise them a bit). As a former animal shelter volunteer I applaud your looking for an older dog however an adolescent may have an easier time getting used to your family’s personalities which is especially important with your eldest child (still if you can find a well-tempered older dog that may be even better; a puppy is not for you). I really don’t know about Arizona shelters but you could try petfinder.com also I know with the whole interview thing it is mostly about whether you are competent people who have enough money and room for a dog so just relax about and you shouldn’t have any problems
I cannot believe the way you were treated at the shelter!
Have you tried petfinder.com?
Look in your local newspaper.
First, no one should be treated like that when looking for a dog. You are looking for a new member of the family and that should be a good experience. There should be no problem with your son as long as you find a calm dog, but one that wont be pushed around. It is good that you want an older dog, not a puppy, because you can tell how the dog will act. Try not to get a very hyper dog or a very timid dog, because these will get ryled up or scared very easily. Before you go to see the dogs with your family, go and see if the dogs meet your requirements, then bring your family afterwords. Be sure to lay down the rules with the dog and kids asap and be very firm. With your case, I would reccomend a smaller to medium sized dog because these tend to be the friendliest and calmest dogs, but that really depends on the dog so that may not always be the case. Good luck and have fun with your dog!
You sound like a fantastic dog owner and mother. I am from a military family and we moved all over with two dogs (every two years, seems like, we moved across country with the airforce) and the dogs made it fine and adjusted well to every environment. Don’t ever buy from pet stores; the help is clueless and the dogs usually have issues. We lived in Tucson for a long time and there are plenty of shelters in that area. I am all for adopting from shelters to save a life, but due to your child’s special needs, you should consider going through a good breeder. When you adopt an older dog from a shelter, you can never be sure of the temperament or behavioral issues the dogs might have. The animalplanet.com website has a “what breed is right for me” test that will show you what breeds best match your needs based on size, exercise lever, energy level, protection, etc. That you are looking for. Good luck. And I would consider reporting the rude clerk at the pet store
I worked at petsmart for years and we actually had to kick a rescue out for behavior like this. Your family sounds very prepared for a dog. I would suggest a labrador. They are amazing dogs to own. Always loving, people oriented, sweet and gentle to children, loyal, funny dogs. They are americas most popular dog 10 years running now for good reason. I took the liberty of going to petfinder.com and looking in your general area for a dog that may fit your home and molly is just a good start of the dogs you may fall in love with on that sight. Any rescue in their right mind should LOVE to have you as an adopter!! Best of luck!
http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/16457018